Renewing Our Marital Friendship

Simplicity, Spirituality

Post written by marriage columnist Susanne Alexander of Marriage Transformation.

As winter begins to fade into springtime, sunlight increases, and new growth begins. Spring can also be a time of renewal for marital friendship.
The more we create light in our lives through joy, laughter, and radiance, the happier we and others are. The more we make space for light to enter our lives and relationships, the more light comes in. Our love and light have the power to create a fragrant rose garden filled with beautiful blossoms. We can be light-givers.
One of the strongest lights in our relationship is our intimate friendship. When we are true companions to one another, helping each other through the ups and downs of everyday life, we are generating light. We are concerned about each other’s well-being and seeking ways to be harmonious together. We carefully learn what lights each other up and carry it out. We also celebrate when others light us up.
With a close friendship between us, we can relax and share what is on our minds and in our hearts and know that it will be respected and appreciated. When we share thoughts and decisions about life, God, the children, our jobs, our service, or whatever is important to us, we can understand each other better. We encourage and help one another through difficulties, times of personal growth, and towards achieving goals. We show sincere enthusiasm to each other for our successes.
We enjoy our time together and share interests and activities. It is a commitment in our relationship to regularly go out on dates with just the two of us. It strengthens our bond and connection when we can share social time together. Often our sharing on these dates is deeper from our hearts and souls than when we are immersed in the routines of everyday life at home. We are released from distractions and focus on one another. We carefully protect this time from conflict or discussions about the logistics of our lives. This is our time to light our lives as friends and partners.
A key aspect of our friendship is sharing laughter. We often find the same things funny, make humorous comments, and enjoy recreation and activities that help us feel lighthearted. We can be playful and have fun. We strengthen our friendship when we laugh and are happy together. Often funny moments recur in our minds in the days after they happen, spreading the light of humor in our lives.
When we are true friends, it is easier to reach out in friendship to others. We can spend time with others in social, spiritual, or service activities, building the intensity of the light between all of us. We can show loving and welcoming hospitality, sharing the light of beauty and love in our home. When we part from our friends, they carry some of our light with them.
Note: This article is an excerpt from an upcoming book called “Lighting Up Your Loved One”, copyright Susanne M. Alexander.