If you’ve been married longer than a couple of years, you’ve likely experienced bouts of marital drift.
Times when you both seem disconnected, apart, or simply out of sync. It’s natural that a couple will have ups and downs. Times when things are smooth and connections are deep – and times when they’re exactly the opposite.
So how about now?
Here’s a short quiz that will help you both discover where you are and give you ideas on what to do about it.
In the last month, have you and your spouse:
- Kissed passionately without making love?
- Gone out on a date without friends or the kids?
- Held hands?
- Talked at length about something other than the kids, money, schedules, household needs or conflicts?
- Done something special for each other?
- Prayed together (other than at mealtime)?
In the last six months, have you and your spouse:
- Gone for a long walk?
- Laughed together until your sides hurt?
- Discussed your marital strengths and weaknesses?
- Written a love note to each other?
- Varied your love-making?
In the last year, have you and your spouse:
- Gotten away for at least one night without kids?
- Shared a spiritual-growth experience?
- Shared hopes and fears concerning your marriage and family over the next five years? Ten years?
- Verbally renewed your commitment to each other to honor, love, cherish and remain faithful until death?
Your Marital Drift Score:
- If you answered yes to 12 or more of these, you probably feel emotionally connected and “in love.” Crank it up to 15 and you’ll feel closer still.
- If you answered yes to between five and eleven of the questions, you may have begun settling for an “average” marriage. Start making changes today.
- If you answered yes to fewer than five questions, your marriage is in serious drift mode. Both of you need to invest heart and soul into connecting.
To improve your connection, simple start practicing the things on this list.
The rewards are worth your efforts.