When my wife Pam began as the permanent co-host with me on Sexy Marriage Radio, we were also experimenting with creating video versions of the shows.
On our first ever video, right before hitting record for the audio (with the camera already rolling) Pam looked over at me and asked, “You good with that shirt?”
I was wearing a t-shirt from Target, and I figured it would do the job well enough of covering my upper body. But having some experience with the wife language, I knew her question actually meant: NOT that shirt.
I laughed and initially said, “Yep, I’m good with this shirt.” Then got up and changed into a solid colored shirt.
Value and Perception are Important Concepts
I followed what Pam suggested. I’ve actually done this several times in my life. And the reverse has been true as well. She used to look for sales when it came time to get shoes for herself. But every time she bought less expensive shoes, her feet hurt by the end of the day.
Yes, the shoes got the job done, but did they last?
We’ve both learned from her Grandma’s statement made early on in our marriage – “Spoil your feet.”
Pam learned from the regular experience of sore feet to pay more money for shoes. She still doesn’t believe in spending a lot on clothing in general, but she got sold on shoes. So did I.
Own Things, But Make Them Good Things
We’ve learned that there are a few areas where we spend for something better. We value a good meal so we’ll pay more. We value fun experiences together and as a family so we’ll spend more for adventures. We like traveling in our RV and staying in nice campgrounds (if we’re going to be in an area for a while).
We spend more on our travel gear because we want it to be durable and really handle itself out there.
I bet you have categories where you spend, too.
But now, is YOUR marriage one of these categories?
That’s the bigger question.
What value do you place on your relationship?
And, what value does your spouse perceive you place on your marriage? That’s possibly an even tougher question.
Because if you don’t know your answer to these questions you can’t begin to be sure your actions are in line with your intents, and words.
Marriage is a long game, and far too often we don’t realize this until the later innings.
If you lived by the idea of invest in things, just be sure they’re good things … where does your marriage fit on this list?
My shirts get the job done, but do they last? Perhaps. But my plan is to be sure my marriage is rocking along far longer than any shirt I currently own.
What’s your plan?