Virtual Marriage Intensives


Closely spaced together and longer sessions offer several advantages over traditional one hour per week sessions. Often, traditional approaches bog down and reach a point of ineffectiveness. You spend more time getting “caught up” each week than working together to reach your goals.

Over time I’ve learned a lot about the benefits of the Intensive Coaching option. It has a process all its own, differing from conventionally-paced treatment. It requires more skill from the coach. Clients find there’s less room to dodge issues, and more time to work them through.

Rapidly accelerating therapy allows some couples to get through issues they would otherwise bog down in. Life-changing turning points (“crucibles” a term coined by Dr. Schnarch) develop quicker. Couples with longstanding problems have more opportunities to move forward. An Intensive is not a “magic bullet.” But it’s a great way to make the most of your efforts, if you’re ready to buckle down and deal with long-avoided issues.

There are several other advantages:

  • The speed of the work – when coaching really starts to happen – is unmatched.
  • The format helps people stop “dancing around” and instead begin to experience the natural people-growing process hidden within relationship and family problems.
  • People often experience a “turning point” as they see their lives through a different lens.

This process feels and operates differently because it develops in a matter of hours rather than weeks or months.

The Marriage Intensive approach is a powerful way to develop new (more accurate) ways of understanding yourself and your situation. Then it facilitates putting your new learning into action.

It will help couples, families, and individuals change entrenched ways of relating and become better “grown up” (more resilient and adaptable).

Overall Gains

Couples’ results vary because their gains are largely determined by their own efforts. Changing your relationship requires talking things out, and then doing things differently. If you’re willing to do that, Virtual Marriage Intensives can help you develop:

  • Self-respect and respect for each other
  • Authentic communication in a non-threatening way
  • A strong collaborative alliance
  • Greater emotional resilience and commitment

Even when a client works on their marital issues, the benefits often ripple through their entire life, family, and relationships.

Who comes for help?

A wide range of people from across the country and around the world work with Dr. Allan remotely.

Lots of people read Naked Marriage or listen to the Passionately Married Podcast and like our ideas. They resonate with our approach and want coaching from the host.

Others are recommended to us by therapists, clergymen, professors, and friends.

For some, this is their first attempt at marriage coaching:

  • They want to know they’re working with a seasoned professional.
  • Some have never wanted to be in therapy or coaching, or doubt its value.

Others are already familiar with our approach:

  • Some are in therapy or coaching in their local community and work with me on specific issues in their relationship or family.
  • Some are therapists or coaches seeking treatment for themselves.
  • Some attended our Sexy Marriage Radio Getaway or other workshops and wanted to grow further.

I see couples who might be:

  • struggling with the aftermath of an extramarital affair
  • finding retirement brings previously-avoided issues to the surface
  • coping with chronic struggles and conflict

And I see couples who:

  • Are tired of “wounded child” or “whine & complain” approaches.
  • Want a therapist who isn’t intimidated by trappings of power.
  • Want a therapist who can confront them when they need to be confronted.
  • Want an adult, straight-talking, “get to the point” approach.
  • Want treatment focused on solutions, rather than endlessly focusing on feelings or rehashing the past.

How do Virtual Intensives work?

Virtual Marriage Intensive sessions occur online and are closely spaced 2 hour sessions (sometimes 3 hours) for a total of 4 sessions usually happening with a 2-week time frame, with a follow-up session a couple of weeks later. There are exercises given to work on between sessions to keep the process going and to speed the change that can happen.

Contact me to schedule a Virtual Marriage Intensive for your relationship. 214.629.6133 or