The alarm goes off, you get ready for the day. Get the rest of the house up, kids out the door to school, head off to work. Get your job done. Battle traffic. Eat dinner. Go to the kids practice. Get them in bed. Watch a little TV or surf the socials. Go to sleep.
It’s no wonder that months pass and you look back and wonder where all the time went.
This also is what contributes to many marriages becoming more like a relationship between roommates than lovers.
So how does this happen so easily?
Largely I think it comes down to expectations and story.
Modern Americans bring to their marriages the most over-stuffed bundle of expectations the institution has ever seen. We expect that our partner will not merely be a decent person, but will also be our soul mate, our best friend, our intellectual companion, our greatest sexual partner and our life’s complete inspiration. Nobody in human history has ever asked this much of a companion. It’s a lot to ask of one mere mortal, and the inevitable disappointments that follow such giant expectations can cripple marriages. ~ Elizabeth Gilbert
Think of it this way:
There are no boring marriages, only boring people.
The biggest killer of passion in marriage is all the meaningless time spouses spend together. And this type of tensionless coexistence defines many marriages today.
To break free of this monotony you need to live an interesting, fulfilling life beyond your intimate relationship.
Sure there are times when a spark can be found within the relationship that takes things to another level. But most often, the path to a better, more passionate marriage begins with the people involved living better, more passionate lives.
Great marriages are the result of two mature, grown up people – both living full, satisfying lives – cooperating with each other to get their needs and wants met. In this kind of differentiated relationship, each spouse complements the other, but doesn’t complete them.
So my dear friends, live a great story and your marriage will follow.