A Long and Changing Road

Relationship Design, Sex and Intimacy

Marriage is a journey, and as the years unfold, couples often find themselves navigating new territories within their relationship. Today, let’s explore the ideas also covered in this week’s episode of Sexy Marriage Radio.

Long-term marriages are a tapestry woven with shared memories, trials, and triumphs.

The complexities of this journey create times of distance as well as times of connection. Worth noting through all the seasons is the importance of cultivating the space between you and your spouse on various levels — mental, emotional, physical, erotic, and spiritual. This journey has dynamics and depths of intimacy that evolve – and the need for intentional communication becomes all the more crucial as time goes by.

This is where the “Our Intimate Choices” worksheet comes in.

If you’re not familiar with this resource, it’s designed to facilitate conversations about comfort levels, desires, and boundaries within the realms of each spouse’s faith, morals, and sexual preferences. For couples who have been married for a while, the worksheet serves as a guide to redefine and re-explore the ever-evolving landscape of their intimate lives together.

To begin, the process focuses on establishing boundaries — an essential aspect often overlooked in far too many long-term marriages. Fact is, as people and couples evolve, both individually and relationally – so do their boundaries. The worksheet encourages spouses to reflect individually before coming together to discuss their comfort zones. This process not only provides clarity but also creates an atmosphere where judgment can be temporarily suspended, thus fostering open and honest communication.

For couples who have weathered the storms of life together, this exercise might unveil some surprising revelations. It’s an opportunity to revisit desires, redefine preferences, and discover new layers of intimacy that may have evolved, faded or been newly discovered over the years.

Desires change, and it’s perfectly natural.

For couples in long-term marriages, understanding this evolution is vital. What sparked instant desire decades ago may need a bit more time and care now. This is about adjusting expectations, embracing change, and appreciating the uniqueness that each stage of life brings to intimacy.

My hope is that couples will recognize that the quality of intimacy far outweighs its quantity.

Who we are in the acts of sex and intimate moments is far more important than the specific acts in and of themselves.

Long-term marriages offer the opportunity to move beyond the physical and delve into the spiritual, emotional, and psychological aspects of connection.

Think of it this way – intimacy is a shared exploration rather than a checklist.

Happy exploring.